M-80s & RSA Claim Wins Saturday!

Story by Muckety Muck – Photos by Bob Dunnell

(BALLWIN, MO) Saturday’s outcomes for Arch Rival Roller Derby could be best described as “Working with the Number Zero.” In one contest, a team got rid of a goose egg while later on a team retained theirs.

In front of 600 at Midwest Sport Hockey, both end results were positive for the victors. In the evening’s launcher, the M-80s claimed their first win of the season with a 216-143 triumph over the Smashinistas. In the nightcap, Rebel Skate Alliance remained undefeated with their 162-120 topper over the Stunt Devils.

The League’s six-game regular season concludes on Saturday, April 6 on the Queeny Park sport court. Advance discounted tickets can be purchased online by GOING TO THIS LINK.

M-80s 216   SMASHINISTAS 143

When the two squads met earlier this season, the Smashies edged the red-flannelled troopers by a baker’s dozen. This time, however, the M-80s played their best derby of the season to decisively thump the team that currently sits second in the League standings.

The M-80s snared three power jams in the first period to gain a sizable lead. Leading 19-13 after four jams, the M-80s gained their first power jam ten minutes deep and jammer L‘Oakey Dokie posted 20 points that pushed the score to 39-15.

Owl Wing It! added four on the next rotation to widen the differential and Lucy Fir’s 12-7 power jam at the 16:15 mark helped the M-80’s lead grow to 55-22.

The trooper’s blocking battalion proceeded with a 36-0 rally over the next four jams to command a huge advantage. With work by Scouts Horror, Special Brownies, Pecan Misandry, Slam Shakusky, Crumbledore, Curl Scout, Wood Bang, Merit Badger and Trampfire, the M-80s’ lead grew to 91-22 with ten minutes remaining in the period following Dokie’s 20-point power jam.

With their powerful half, the M-80s maintained a 114-54 lead at intermission.

A push for points started the second period and the M-80s held a 121-63 advantage after five jams but then the fatal blow was struck in Jam 6 as Dokie recorded her third 20-point jam of the contest with a 20-8 rotation at the 19:00 mark that pushed the score to 141-71.

The differential had reached triple-digits at one point as Dokie’s 24-6 jam with 9:20 remaining made the score 194-88.

To their credit, the Smashies finished strong and whittled the gap to double-digits deep thanks to blocking provided by blockers CQ, Cloak N’ Dragher, Gnarley Carbsmashian, Smash Money, Oliver Smash, Smashsquatch, chill beans, Nigel Smashberry, WyldeSyde, Regrets and the Monster Smash.

That helped jammer Frowntown collect a 28-7 rotation in Jam 12 that shored the score to 201-116 and later she added to 20-3 strike that helped ease the Smashies’ frustrations found earlier in the game.

The M-80s outscored the Smashinistas 102-89 in the second period en route to the first victory of the season with the 216-143 triumph. With the ensuing results in the nightcap, the M-80s found themselves at the end of the event in a two-way tie with the Stunt Devils (both 1-4) in the standings.

Despite the setback, the Smashies (3-2) retained second place in the standings.


M-80s (216): L’Oakey Dokie 118, Lucy Fir 49, Owl Wing It! 16, Special Brownies 12, Camp Kwitcherbitchin’ 11, Slam Shakusky 8.

SMASHINISTAS (143): Frowntown 81, Skeeive Nick 30, Cloak N’ DragHer 12, CQ 12, Smash Money 8, Gnarley Carbsmashian 1.


Heading into Saturday’s match-up, one might have thought that undefeated RSA would easily handle the defending League champs. After all, the Rollin Rebs’ 253-140 tap out over the Stunts in January could have potentially had a similar outcome.

All naysayers were proven wrong….really, really wrong.

Trailing 8-7 after three jams, RSA gained a power jam and Darth Tator’s ensuing six-point strike resulted in a 13-8 lead change.

As the period progressed, neither squad gained a sizable edge. Stunts’ jammer Toni Smaxton notched an eight-point rotation at the 17:00 mark that narrowed RSA’s lead to a solo point, 38-37. Team mate Scarrie Fisher then posted a two-pointer one minute later that handed the Stunts a 39-38 lead change.

As the period progressed, both teams slugged it out with stellar defense. RSA’s faction of Endorable!, Storm Bruiser, Han Rolo, Obi-Wan Kenosebleed, Jabba the Butt, Spock N’ Roll, Zombie Plagueis, Wookie Monster, Lethal Dose, SITH HAPPENS! and Titanium Falcon went perpetually hassled by the Stunts’ hard-charging crew of Rhonda Lousey, Black Dynamite, Mya Pinion and Kill-Ya Knightly, Force Choke, Ginger, Reese Wither(n’Die)Spoon, Fast ‘n’ Lucy Liu, Kat, Nunchucks Norris, Sir Ian McKillin’ and Glenn Close But No Cigar.

Following RSA rookie Indiana Bones’ four-pointer with 9:30 left, the tussle was tied 48-48. The three jams that followed resulted no additional scoring for either squad.

Stunts’ jammer Slamgelina Jolie broke the deadlock with an eight point strike with under three minutes left that handed her team a 56-48 edge. The Stunts countered with back-to-back four-pointers that tied the score 56-56 heading into the final jam.

A 4-3 push by the Stunts on the final rotation gave them a 50-59 lead at halftime.


A frenzied second period began with Jolie netting six for the defending champs that widened their lead to 66-59.

RSA then capitalized on a power jam in the second rotation that resulted in Tator’s 20-point strike that resulted in a 79-66 lead change with 26:30 remaining.

The Stunts tried to play catch-up as the period progressed but began to see a potential upset of the unbeatens slip away.  Leading 90-72 ten minutes deep, RSA posted 18 points straight to widen the differential. An eight-pointer from reserve jammer Yoda Blow was followed by Boba Flash’s ten-pointer that widened the contest to 108-72.

Blow later added a 14-point clincher that pushed the score to 138-91.

Outscoring the Stunts in the second period 103-60, RSA retained their unblemished record (5-0) and top positioning in the standings with the 162-120 duke. They look to finish the regular season spotless on April 6 against the Smashinistas.

For the fourth straight game, the Stunts (1-4) continued their upward trajectory and their meeting with theM-80s at the regular season finale is anticipated to be closely contested.


RSA (162): Darth Tator 56, Yoda Blow 48, Boba Flash 36, Indiana Bones 16.

STUNT DEVILS (120): Slamgelina Jolie 37, Scarrie Fisher 31, Zoe Hell 21, Force Choke 13, Toni Smaxton 8.

Share Now
Muckety Muck

Muckety Muck has been a co-announcer for Arch Rival Roller Derby since 2008. Writes Arch Rival previews and recaps for Arch City Sports, a St. Louis-based sports website.

All Posts

Related Post

Leave us a reply