RSA & Stunts Win At Event #3!

(BALLWIN, MO) The finishes of Arch Rival Roller Derby’s twin bill Saturday night at Midwest Sport Hockey resulted in a true standings hierarchy among the four flat-track factions.

In the opener at Queeny Park that featured unbeatens, Rebel Skate Alliance topped the Smashinistas 217-170 to grab sole possession of first place in the standings while in the nightcap the Stunts Devils topped the M-80s 250-215 en route to their first victory of the season.

The event in front of 600 marked the midpoint of the League’s six-event regular season, which continues Saturday, March 2.


The tussle between then-undefeated squads saw multiple lead changes in the first half. A 36-0 power jam-aided sprint in the opening stages of the second half propelled RSA, who returned to the ARCH complexion this season after a four-year absence, to their third straight victory that pushed their record to 3-0.

Trailing 16-10 after two jams, the Smashinistas claimed their first lead of the game with Smashing Violet’s seven-point power jam at the 25:00 mark that resulted in a 17-16 scoreboard flip.

RSA responded with a 16-4 run over the next four jams and after Boba Flash’s five-point strike in Jam 7, the Rebels possessed a 32-21 lead.

The Smashies responded with a 20-point surge midway through the period thanks to blocking by Cloak N’ Drag-Her, Smashbird, Nigel Smashberry, chili beans, WyldeSyde, Gnarley Carbsmashian, Regrets, Smash Me Ousside, The Monster Smash and Smashsquatch.

Punctuated by Violet’s 17-point power jam with 14:30 left, the Smashinistas reclaimed the lead, 41-32.

RSA, with blocking provided by Endorable!, Titanium Falcon, SITH HAPPENS, Lethal Dose, Wookie Monster, Zombie Plagueis, Spock N’ Roll, Jabba the Butt, Han Rolo, Storm Bruiser and Obi-Wan Kanosebleed, responded with 15 points straight, highlighted by Darth Tator’s dozen that flipped the scoreboard to 47-41 with 11:50 left.

As the period progressed, both teams traded leads. With 2:45 remaining in the half, RSA held a 66-56 lead after Admiral Aggbar’s 12-point strike resulted in a lead change.

The Smashies finished with a 20-point flourish as Violet’s six-pointer in the penultimate jam was followed by Frowntown’s 14-point, period-ending power jam that resulted in her team’s 76-66 advantage at intermission.

Whatever momentum was achieved by the Smashinistas prior to the break quickly evaporated as RSA started the second period by capitalizing on four power jams in the first five rotations that resulted in 36 straight points.

Aggbar’s 12-point power strike during the second jam led to an 83-76 scoreboard flip three minutes deep. Flash tacked on an eight-pointer power jam on the next rotation that widened the score to 91-76. Darth Tator’s repeated eight with 24:25 left pushed the game to 99-76 and Aggbar’s power jam-aided trey finished the sprint and made the score 102-76 at the 22:50 point.

RSA widened the differential as the second half progressed as the Smashies continued to hand over power jams. Aggbar’s eight-pointer with 9:45 left pushed the score to 172-122.

Rebel Skate Alliance outscored the Smashinistas 157-94 in the second period to record the 217-170 victory and snare sole possession of first place in the standings. Darth Tator finished the night with 123 points.

The Smashies (2-1) were paced by Frowntown’s 60 points.


REBEL SKATE ALLIANCE: Darth Tator 123, Admiral Aggbar 65, Boba Flash 28

SMASHINISTAS: Frowntown 60, Smashing Violet 55, Skeevie Nicks 20, Cloak N’ Drag-Her 14, Chili Beans 7

STUNT DEVILS 250   M-80s 215

Although the defending ARCH champion Stunt Devils were in a bit of a funk during the opening stages of their local campaign, they righted the ship with their best collective effort of the season that resulted in a solid win that netted a coveted first victory.

Heading into the game, the Stunts held an advantage on paper as three primary M-80s’ blockers were not in the line-up due to pre-scheduled absences.

Tied 4-4 three jams in, Stunts’ jammer Zoe Hell claimed a 16-8 rotation at the 26:00 mark that gave her team a 20-12 edge.

Later in the period, the defending champs utilized a 34-0 rally that padded the lead. Highlighted by Hell’s 20-point rotation with twenty minutes left, the Stunts surged ahead 64-18.

To their credit, the M-80s chopped away at the lead with fine work by blockers Merit Badger, Trampfire, Slipknot, Curl Scout, Slam Shakusky, S’More Cowbell and Wood Bang. A 45-20 run ensued as the troopers shored the score to 84-63 with eight minutes left in the frame.

Feeling the heat, the Stunts churned a 43-4 stretch run that finished the half that was set-up by blockers Reese Wither(n’ Die) Spoon, Black Dynamite, Kill-ya Knightly, Rhonda Lousey, Ginger Assassin, Sir Ian McKillin’, Fast ‘n’ Lucy Liu, Nunchucks Norris and Glenn Close But No Cigar.

An eight-point power jam by Toni Smaxton with four minutes left set the tone and Scarrie Fisher’s 24-4 period-ending jam resulted in the Stunts’ 129-67 comfortable lead at intermission.

To their credit, the M-80s successfully cobbled a plaid print that made the game extremely close in the second period.

A 43-23 rally, highlighted by numerous multi-lap scores from M-80s jammer L’Oakey Dokie, shored the score to 152-110 eight minutes in.

The Stunts countered with an 18-12 sprint over the next three jams and sported a 170-122 lead with 17:45 remaining.

As much as the Stunts tried to secure a sizable lead as the period progressed, the M-80s refused to wave the white flag. With under five minutes left, the defending champs retained a 222-185 advantage.

Then in the game’s penultimate jam, the M-80s obtained lead jammer status and then capitalized on a pair of power jams within a two minute stretch. This enabled Dokie and her Mateys to collect a 22-4 rotation that narrowed the score to 226-207 heading into the final jam.

Feeling the heat, the Stunts in the final rotation claimed lead jammer status, widened the differential, drained the clock and put the clamp down on the M-80s jammer thanks to outstanding defensive blocking. This resulted in Fisher’s 24-8 game clincher.

Although they were outscored 148-121 in the second period, the Stunts’ halftime cushion and final jam lock down resulted in the 250-215 victory that netted them their first victory of the year and sole possession of third place in the standings. Fisher scored 89 in the win.

Dokie posted a intraleague personal best of 156 points for the M-80s (0-3).


STUNT DEVILS: Scarrie Fisher 89, Zoe Hell 61, Slamgelina Jolie 50, Toni Smaxton 27

M-80s: L’Oakey Dokie 156, Owl Wing It 30, Camp Kwitcherbitchin 13, Lucy Fir 8

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Muckety Muck

Muckety Muck has been a co-announcer for Arch Rival Roller Derby since 2008. Writes Arch Rival previews and recaps for Arch City Sports, a St. Louis-based sports website.

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