Smashinistas Win ARCH 2017 Local Title

(Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell)

(BALLWIN, MO) In front of a packed house at Midwest Sport Hockey Saturday night, the Smashinistas topped the two-time defending ARCH champion Stunt Devils 188-122 to claim their first local title since 2014.

G1The Smashinisas finished their season unblemished (5-0) and figuring out a key component for the season success was somewhat simple from the onset.

“Friendship, I guess,” reflected Smashies’ co-captain Cloak N’ Drag-Her following her team’s 66 point win.

Although that is true, one has to statistically look at the camo-clad troopers’ 33-0 rally deep in the first period which resulted in a cushion that made way for a less stressful second half.

“Everyone’s been playing so solid this year,” added teammate Shimmy Hoffa. “It was easy and fun.”

G1The two-time defending champs quickly struck out of the gates as Stunt Devils’ jammer Bricktator posted a 15-point strike on the title game’s opening jam.

The Smashies responded with 34 points straight as Harmony Killerbruise’s 25-point non-lead power jam in the second rotation was followed by Salty’s nine-point strike in Jam 3 that resulted in a 34-15 lead for the Smashinistas at the 25:10 mark.

The Stunts trailed 55-26 with 15:30 left in the period but with help from blockers Shear-Ra Powers, Nox, Beaver Knievel, Bruise Almighty, Fletch A Sketch, Hakuna Renata, Goldie Blocks, Pegasass, Joan of Spark, Wonder Thighs, Cruella Belle-ville and Hardcore Parkour, the daredevils went on a 24-14 run over the next four jams.

G1Stunt Devil jammer Psychokid D’ Freakout started the run with a grand slam with 14:25 left in the period to shore the score to 55-31 and Bricktator followed with a nine-point rotation that narrowed the score to 55-40.

The Smashies’ Smarty McFly briefly halted the rally with a 14-point power jam that pushed the score to 69-40 but D’Freakout’s retorted 10-point power jam recorded with 9:40 remaining shored the score to 69-50.

The Smashies then went on the aforementioned five-jam, 33-0 rally that resulted in late-first period comfort. Killerbruise started the stretch with a 15-point power jam at the 7:45 mark that pushed the score to 84-50. Then following Flash’s solo-point effort, back-to-back four-pointers collected by Salty and Bolt Action extended the lead to 93-50.

G1Killerbruise’s nine-pointer with 2:45 left finished the push as the Smashies held a 102-50 advantage.

The Stunts were able to post 17 points straight in the period’s final two jams and with Bricktator’s 14-pointer heading into intermission, the defending champs trailed 102-67.

Early in the second period, both squads played relatively clean and the halftime differential never shifted. An 8-8 push over the period’s first four jams resulted in a 110-75 lead for the Smashies heading into Jam 5.

The Smashies’ 12-4 run over the next two jams, accented by Bolt’s eight-point strike with 23:50 left, pushed the score to 122-79.

G1As the second period progressed, the stubborn Smashies’ defense, paced by the aforementioned Drag-Her, Hoffa and McFly, as well as starters Rumbledore, Holliver Fist, Birdsong, Rock Slobster and Detta, kept providing hits, and giving fits, to the Stunt jammers and subsequent blocking sistren.

Killerbruise’s 19-point power jam with 17:10 left made the score 147-93 and pretty much set the template for their 2017 championship claim.

G1The Smashies outscored the Stunt Devils in the second period 86-55 en route to the 188-122 ARCH trophy victory. Killerbruise finished the night with 89 points followed by Bolt Action’s 30.

“We balanced everyone out and played together,” said the Smashies’ Drag-Her afterwards. “We played our best for each other and put our nose to the grindstone to make it happen and we came out on top.”

Bricktator topped the Stunt Devils (2-3) with 69 points followed by Aggie Wartooth’s 20.


SMASHINISTAS (188): Harmony Killerbruise 89, Bolt Action 30, Salty 27, Smarty McFly 22, Flash 19.

STUNT DEVILS (122): Bricktator 69, Aggie Warooth 20, Psychokid D’Freakout 18, Violet Opposition 16, Beaver Knievel 1.

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Muckety Muck

Muckety Muck has been a co-announcer for Arch Rival Roller Derby since 2008. Writes Arch Rival previews and recaps here and for Arch City Media, a St. Louis-based sports website.

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