Smashies Remain Undefeated

Smashinistas vs M-80s (BALLWIN, MO) At stage five of Arch Rival Roller Derby’s six-game local regular season Saturday night, the Smashinistas topped the M-80s, 233-113, to remain undefeated on the season (3-0).

With the win, the Smashies claimed automatic entry to ARCH’s local championships that will be held at Midwest Sport Hockey in late April.

Heading into the weekend’s tussle with the red flannels, the Smashinistas knew that they would have to strike early and often against a squad, albeit winless, averaged close to 180 points through three games.

The Smashies’ 40-1 first period rally, combined a stubborn defense, resulted in the 120-point eye-opening win.

Smashinistas vs M-80sBack-to-back four-point strikes from jammer Harmony Killerbruise and Bolt Action launched the game as the Smashinistas held an 8-0 advantage after two rotations.

M-80s’ jammer Shoulder, CO helped slice the score to 8-4 at the 27:00 mark with a four-pointer. Killerbruise responded with a four of her own in Jam 4 to push the lead to 12-4. Shoulder nabbed a pair of points that narrowed the margin to 12-6 with 23:45 left in the period.

The Smashinistas then produced the aforementioned 40-1 by netting numerous multi-lap passes. Via a power jam, Smashie jammer Flash collected a 13-1 with 22:00 left in the period that widened the score to 25-7. Killerbruise followed with a four-pointer that extended the troopers’ lead to 29-7.

Smashinistas vs M-80sFollowing a scoreless rotation in Jam 9, the Smashies’ blocking battalion, paced by Smarty McFly, Cloak N’ DragHer, Bolt Action, Shimmy Hoffa, Rumbledore, Holliver Fist, Birdsong, Rock Slobster, Wicked Witch of the Midwest and Detta, helped produce 29 points straight.

In the process, blocker-by-trade Salty claimed 10 points with the star in possession that resulted in a 39-7 score while Flash added 15 at the 17:30 mark that widened the score to 52-7. Killerbruise finished the rally with four-pointer at 16:35 as the Smashies’ lead blossomed to 57-7.

The M-80s responded with a baker’s dozen as a nine-pointer from jammer BEECH, PLEASE!!! was followed by Shoulder’s four-pointer scored with 13:30 left  that resulted in a 57-20.

The Smashies refused to bend by notching 19 straight over the next two jams and Flash’s four combined with Killerbruise’s 15-pointer pushed the score to 76-20 with 10:45 left in the period.

Smashinistas vs M-80sAs dire as things seemed at the time for the M-80s, the loggers were able to chip away at the deficit for the remainder of the frame thanks to the work of blockers Fir Serious!?!?, Rhino, Lumberjam, Ginger, Pine As Buck, Branch Devereaux, Jenny Loggins, Seqouoia Destroy-ya, Fionna Crabapple, Twig E. Smalls and Snoop Dogwood.

Highlighted by Meagbirch’s 14-pointer collected on the period’s penultimate jam, the M-80s’ 36-20 first-period finish narrowed the Smashinistas’ lead to 96-56 at intermission.

After a scoreless opening jam in the second, Bolt Action claimed a four-pointer that pushed the Smashies’ overall tally to triple digits, 100-56 with 28:30 left in the game.

Then the game’s paramount jam occurred on the next rotation as Salty claimed lead for the Smashies and, aided by a plethora of M-80s’ penalties, churned a 31-4 devastation rotation. When the dust had settled with 26:15 left, the green-clads sported a 131-60 advantage.

Smashinistas vs M-80sThe differential widened as the period progressed power jam strikes from Cloak N’ DragHer. A 13-4 tally with 17:45 left in the period pushed the score to 172-82 and a 20-pointer with 6:15 left resulted in a 223-109 result.

The Smashinistas outscored the M-80s, 137-57, in the second period to claim the 233-113 victory to remain undefeated. Impressively, the team contained five jammers that scored over 30 points each, paced by Killerbruise’s 56 and Salty’s 50.

The troopers face defending ARCH defending League champs, the Stunt Devils (2-1), on April 1.

The M-80s, paced by Shoulder’s 52 points, conclude their season 0-4.


SMASHINISTAS (233): Harmony Killerbruise 56, Salty 50, Flash 44, Cloak N’ DragHer 35, Smarty McFly 9.

M-80s (113): Shoulder, CO, 52, Branch Devereaux 18, BEECH, PLEASE!! 18, Megabirch 14, Lumberjam 9, Pine As Buck 4.

(Photo Credit: Bob Dunnell)

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Muckety Muck

Muckety Muck has been a co-announcer for Arch Rival Roller Derby since 2008. Writes Arch Rival previews and recaps for Arch City Sports, a St. Louis-based sports website.

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